Mar 1st 2009, 00:00

   There is always something going on here at E.C.L.C. I think that sometimes  the children assume that every day is a holiday. Then I say to myself, "Maybe this is not such a bad way to live!"

   Just think for a moment if we could find just a little bit of joy in our lives each day. I know a lot of us probably are having to tighten our belts. I don't know of anyone who is living on “easy street.”

   So I say let’s take time to be grateful for what we have . It may be a whole lot less, yet we do have our families as well as each other. This can sound so cliché, but when we take time to stop and actually reflect upon this idea, it is comforting at least for me. I like that I have people that I can lean on them when and if I need. But we as a family and community still need to deal with these hard times.

   I think we have to be careful of what we say around our children. Children do not have the developmental capability to grasp "hard times." How they see the world - if it is joyful, secure, and loving or not, comes directly from the parent and their immediate family.

   I cannot say this enough. The child looks to the parent to see that all is well with the world. If children overhear their parents talking or maybe fighting over their finances, or listen to the news - they will internalize this and become fearful.  

   I was a single parent for twelve years, and believe me there were times when there was not very much in the pantry. So I learned to be honest at yet still be the rock for my sons. 

   When times are tough, it is okay if you are sad and it is okay to tell your children that you are sad. Then always add, even when you might not feel this at the time, that you are going to be fine.  Then also add “I will always take care of you to the best of my ability.”

   If you crumble, they will become unhappy and stressed and feel unduly responsible for you, the adult. The child is not meant to be the adult. They are not wired to make all their own decisions for their well-being. If this was so they wouldn't need the parent.

   I must add that there is no need to be fake and say everything is all right when they can see on your face that it is not. If the parent keeps saying everything is all right when it is not, this just leads to distrust. Simply be honest and say that you may not be able to do all things you have done before, but you are going to still spend time together. Instead of going out to dinner, stay home and have dinner in the living room as if you are having a picnic. All a child really wants is time with his/her parents - it doesn’t matter where.

   I have traveled from India to Africa I have seen the poorest slums, and I have seen the happiest children in the ugliest places. Their parents found joy in their God in their daily life and each other. 

   I know life can be hard - I want you to know you are not alone and we here at E.C.L.C. are here for you and your children.  We all care for each one of you deeply.